I was 11 years old at an ordinary moment in life (in fact, I was simply standing in the bathroom) when it suddenly hit me; I exist! I am alive! I am. All this time I’ve been living and I never really noticed—REALLY noticed that I was. I just took it for granted, all this living. And now, I knew.
A sudden joy filled me at the thought—the joy of knowing that I was created. I’ve carried that moment around with me since then, thinking of it now and then, marveling at the wonder of that truth. God thought of me and made me. I didn’t have to exist. He chose for me to be here.
I wish I could keep that thought at the forefront of my mind…living each day in the wonder of that moment, but life wears me down and it gets shoved into the back of my mind.
But every birthday when I wake up, the joy of that moment fills me—if only for one day a year and I know that I exist, I am alive, I am. People wish me a happy birthday, but I can’t help but have a happy birthday. In fact, I wish that everyone else would have a happy birthday with me—to share this joy that I have of being alive.
This year I am going to try to carry a piece of that joy with me. When I get down and frustrated and depressed, I want to draw on the wonder of that realization and remember that I am.
(Psalm 139:13-14 NIV)
13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
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